This Valentines post is a short little script I wrote for my sociology seminar class on the Marxian perspective on “love.” I have a love/hate/frustrating relationship with Valentine’s Day. In all honesty, I don’t want to be that bitter single person who resents Valentine’s day and all the happy couples. I will not negate my yearly disappointment in not getting flowers or a card from a beloved or even secret admirer, but I will not express it in some sort of alternative anti-Valentine’s day celebration. Even at this moment I am working on my Hello Kitty Boxed Valentines, that I purchased from Walgreens. I plan to pass them out to my co-workers “a la elementary school style” to bring out the fun and joy connected to Love.
Happy St. Valentine’s Day!
Here is the script:
In Treatment: Love——Valentines Day
T: I see you’re wearing your “I heart Marx “shirt again?
L: (looks down at shirt) Yeah. It’s what I wanted to wear. Been kinda just wanting to wear it everyday.
T: (inquistive look) every day? Hmmm..why do you think that is?
L: Why do I want to wear it everyday? (briefly lost in thought, then heavy sigh). I really hate this time of year. It’s the commercials they start getting to you. Oh those tv ads, all those jewelry commercials. I can’t even listen to my car radio. Actually. I just hate this day. Valentines day. When I was kid, it was easy, no problem, you bought some stupid little box set of valentine’s day cards. Sure you carefully picked out which cartoon box set to choose and which ones to give to the people you actually liked. Maybe you had a school crush and you gave them the one about them being your valentine….or maybe you didn’t because you didn’t want the whole world to make fun of you. But when you’re older valentine’s day is just…do you know people call it SAD day?
T: sad day?
L: Yeah it’s an acronym as is in Single Awareness Day? S. A. D. Because the whole day’s emphasis is about who’s coupled with who? Who has someone who loves them. Who’s got a date that night, or who’s boyfriend or girlfriend is going to surprise them with some conspicuous arrangement of flowers or stupid edible arrangement. Who even buys edible arrangements? That’s so lame, edible arrangements. I never want to get one of those, even if it is the cookie ones…
Anyways, at the office, it’s the most messed up day for women. You just watch the delivery guys walk up and you see there’s a delivery. And ALL, I mean ALL, the women just eagle eye the package. We are all secretly hoping it’s for one of us. These flowers or balloons or stuffed bears are like coveted surprise trophies. They are like this indication of status. Of your love status! Hmm (laughs).. your love status. Does someone out there in the world, love you? You know, I once had this co-worker get flowers from her parents… and you know I was actually kinda jealous of that…Isn’t that crazy?
T: Why do you think that it’s crazy?
L: Because it is. It’s insane. I hate myself for feeling so upset about it. I hate myself because I follow the duping with the rest of the world. I’m an idiot just like the rest of them. Sigh. I mean, ever since we are young, we have been like taught to expect this, to want this. The childhood fairytales, the storybooks….the movies. Oh..gosh the movies! All those damn movies. The romantic comedies, the ones where the guy and the girl get together in the end. He always gets her some nice flower and “surprises” her…and we all get this idea that we want that. I hate that I even go watch those movies…but I still go. We are idiots. I’m an idiot.
T: Idiots? Why.?..Why, do you say that?
L: Why are we idiots? Because we think that it’s really all about love. And it’s not. It’s about ….economic value. Some humans get to be more valuable than others on that day. And that is basically what love is, how valuable you are. And since we live in a capitalistic world, value comes down to money. And that is why I’m wearing my I heart Marx shirt. Love is just money.
T: Do you feel less valuable because you didn’t get any gifts?
L: When I don’t really think about I suppose I do. But then I remember. I remember what is happening. Take for instance flowers. You know I actually love flowers. I like roses and well actually gerbera daisies. Those are my favorites. I actually have fantasies of someone surprising me with a bouquet of gerbera daisies. Ugh such a cliché. But then part of me is disgusted. You know when all these stupid flower tents pop up during Valentine’s day and umm.. oh yeah Mother’s day. We never stop and think…gee where did these flowers come from. No, you either fixate on the price and wonder why it’s so much more expensive than last year. They are basically blood flowers, just like blood diamonds. Did you ever see “Maria Full of Grace”? It shows you the horribleness of these flower plantations, where people have horrid working conditions and that’s like their best option. The protaganist, she gets pregnant and quits the flower plantation because of the working conditions. And then she basically becomes a drug mule. When I see flowers, I think about who grew them, what horrible place did it come from to just be some status object. Same thing with diamonds. I wouldn’t want a diamond ring anymore. Hmm.. what did you ask, again?
T: nodding, Umm, I asked if you felt less valuable when you don’t get gifts?
L: Strangely, yes I do. I want to say No, not really, I want to recognize how utilitarian this all is. How our current society’s grip on this idea of love is so demeaning and excluding, how it just enslaves people and creates more social inequality more disconnection.
T: Do you really believe that?
L: (looks down at shirt )I’m pretty sure Marx would believe it.
metanoia in progress 